jokes

IT Jokes

1) Project Manager  is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a
baby in One month.
2) Developer  is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a
Baby.
3) Onsite Coordinator  is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine
babies in one month.
4) Marketing Manager  is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby
even if no man and woman are available.
5) Resource Optimization Team  thinks they don't need a man or woman;
they'll produce a child with zero resources.
6) Documentation Team  thinks they don't care whether the child is
delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
7) Quality Auditor  is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS
to produce a baby.
8) Tester  is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the
Right baby.
9) HR  is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby
if given 9 months
10) Client  is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Thu, 2010-05-13 16:12.

Life us Same

20 years back - School bag. Today - Office bag.

20 years back - Lekhak Note book. Today - HP Note book.

20 years back - Hero Ranger. Today - Hero Honda.

20 years back - Half pants. Today - Full pants.

20 years back - Playing with plastic car running on battery and remote. Today - Playing with metal car running on petrol and gear.

20 years back - Scared of Teachers and exams. Today - Scared of Bosses and targets.

20 years back - Wanting to be class topper. Today - Wanting to be 'Employee of the month'. 20 years back - Quarterly exams. Today - Quarterly results.

20 years back - Annual School Magazine. Today - Company Annual Report.

20 years back - Annual exams. Today - Annual appraisals. 20 years back - Pocket money. Today - Salary.

20 years back - Waiting for Diwali crackers. Today - Waiting for Diwali bonus.

Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Sun, 2010-04-04 19:58.

More Sardar ji jokes


    Sardar: My mobile bill how much?

Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status

Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

 

    Sardar built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled y?

When asked him, he said,

"Oye, that’s for those who don’t know Swimming.

 

    A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse. He writes a love letter to the Nurse: - I Love U sister...

 

    Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..

Friend: How do u know?

Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new

 

    Sardar: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?

Teacher: Me? No, why?

Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- “1 Miss Call".

 

Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Fri, 2009-05-29 16:46.

Funny Video

Very funny video; regarding women driving; well no offences ; I just got it somewhere; enjoyed it and putting it here; have fun

File Attachment: woman_drivers.wmv (4055 KB)

Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Tue, 2009-02-10 08:30.

Funny Pics

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Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Wed, 2008-01-16 15:47.

India in Coming days he he

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Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Tue, 2008-01-15 17:49.

Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marraige (IT Perspective)

( The IT Perspective )

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage : Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Mon, 2007-12-17 12:26.

funny tech jokes

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Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Sun, 2007-12-16 16:32.

Good one on men

Thought 1
 
When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
 
Thought 2

The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.
   
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
 
Thought 3

Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Tue, 2007-12-11 10:04.

real kool definitions

School:
A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance :
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:  
    A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Tears:  
    The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:  
   An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer
to the notes of the students
without passing through 'the minds of either'.

Conference:
 The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:  
The art of dividing a cake in such a way
that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary:
 A place where success comes before work.

Posted in Submitted by rizwan on Thu, 2007-12-06 11:14.
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